Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Between

At the Solstice, it is still dark, but getting lighter.

I am out of bed and out of the house, but I am not yet going anywhere.

I am not coughing as much, yet I am still coughing.

I feel better, but I do not feel good.

I have cancer, but is it advancing, receding, or stagnating?

I am between darkness and light.

29 comments:

Wendy said...

Dear Elyse,

As 2008 ends and 2009 begins, may more and more of the lightness shine in. You are always in my thoughts.

Love, Wendy

Jill B said...

It sounds like you are improving slowly. Keep up your spirits and look forward to 2009 being a year filled with health and happiness for you and your family.

kathyb.scheer@comcast.net said...

You are a source of light, strength and encouragement to so many of us. Keep getting out of bed, eating, loving, praying, visiting with loved ones, and know that your friends have wishes for long days on the trails, cool trips down the rivers, laughing and chatting at the bars, and languishing at the spas with you in 2009! Much love, K

Anonymous said...

Sending you a warm embrace, healing thoughts and an enveloping white light to lift your spirits.
Love,
Ronnie

Anonymous said...

You're not giving up now. We Are hoping only for good news. Hang in there and may G-d give you strength to fight this and good health. As always you're in my thoughts and prayers. Love, Michelle s.

sandplay said...

In my thoughts, dreams and wishes,you are always in the light. Wishing you great brightness and many out of house adventures in the coming year

elise said...

I am thinking of you as we bring in a new year. I hope that 2009 brings you all sorts of miracles, large and small, and lots of joy and laughter.

much love - Elise

Susan said...

Dreaming of a special year full of love, laughter and light for you, John & Brent! Love, Susan, Mark & Sam

Lenore and Scott said...

New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights. ~Hamilton Wright Mabie
OK, I couldn't take credit for that, but it's my thoughts exactly. I'm not sure we get a "clean slate" (it's not Yom Kippur for goodness sake), but we do feel a freshness of changing the calendar from 2008 to 2009. I can't wish enough for you and all I hope for is more time with my friend. May you continue to blog to us and keep us close to you. I think I speak for many when I say that we need it so badly. When you go days without blogging, I'm not sure if I should be glad that you're too busy or worried that you're too weak. If my heart were a healing place, you would definitely be cured!

Love to ALL the doggies, kittys, and of course my sweet Brent and John. Oh, and you too :)

Ann said...

Elyse,
Wishing you a new year filled with health, love, feeling good, doggies, milkshakes, walks, girlfriends, light, travels, and anything else that your beautiful heart desires. You have come so far in this unbelievable journey, and we know you will come out the winner. Here is to a new year and a new you!
With love,
Ann

Anonymous said...

Hey Elyse - Here's to your feeling great in 2009. Sending a big hug for the new year. oxox
Howard S

Bruce M said...

Happy New Year El See

Love Bruce M.

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year Elyse! Your strength is an inspiration to all of us. Keep fighting. We believe in you.
Love,
Brigette

Roberto said...

Your words encourage me!! You are one strong lady and now a survivor!!! Keep the momentum, keep smilinng and laughing with your friends and at the doggies.
This is a new year and we all hope for a better one than 2008.
We'll make more plans and keep thinking positive thoughts!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Love,
Roberto
XXOO

Steve Beagle said...

Ali and of course the nerve center behind you - John, Brent, your immediate family, the dach's and the everyone out there rooting for you from the cheap seats....

Happy New Year... I pray with all of my might on behalf of myself and my family that it will be a much better year in 09 for the Denny's ...

Of course tomorrow I hope to make you smile.. but for the moment let's contemplate the amazing work you do and continue to do every day.. Yet you don't even know you are doing it.. while I was reading my year end copy of SI, I came across this quote from one of my all time favorite inspiring coaches... Jimmy Valvano.. it is very applicable with the exception of one difference, you will prevail and unfortunately he lost his fight..

"I'm looking for a reason to hope, a reason to live, and the only thing that helps me do that is my education. If I survive this, or even if I just wage a this battle well, it will be because of what I grasped from reading, from understanding the world and my place in it, from learning to ask the the right questions and to grasp all the alternative treatments for this disease -from academia, not from athletics.

People think a sports background helps you fight death. Are you kidding? Athletes and coaches are taught that they're special. You're nobody. I want to help every cancer patient I can right now. For some reason, people look to me for hope. I don't know if I can handle that but it's the only conceivable good that can come out of this."

LH&P - Steve and the family

David S. said...

"I feel better" -- we like how that sounds.

We send our best wishes and thoughts for the new year to the three of you.

With love,

David, Beth, Joshua & Eli

Anonymous said...

Dear Elyse,
Being between darkness and light - believing that you are headed toward the light. and becoming well.Thinking of you with love and wishes for a very happy healthy 2009.
love,
Michelle

Anonymous said...

Dear Elyse:
Writing from New York during my annual New Year's visit to my family. We revisited some sites we took Brent to now that Joe is older -- and laughed recalling how a seagull flew off with his hot dog at Battery Park. I hope you are reflecting on the good times as well to sustain you during your struggle. I'll be seeing you soon. Take care and know we are praying for your well being. Love, Ellen

Anonymous said...

Elyse

I think of you not only in the light, but a bright light you share freely with all around you. I spent the holidays additively playing a video game called Rock Band. I highly recommend it as a stress free, fun way to live your fantasy of opening for Journey at Madison Square Gardens. Well, ok, my fantasy, but the game is a lot of fun. It will transport you temporarily to a place where your coughing isn't important.

Always thinking and praying about you.

Stan

Anonymous said...

Let the sunshine....Let the sunshine in. Here's hoping that 2009 brings lots of warmth to your whole being. We all want to give you a GROUP HUG!!!!!!
Glad to hear the smile in your voice.
Love
Amy

Rachel said...

Keep looking for the light side of that tunnel, we know it's there, and don't look back at the darkness.
May the new year bring renewed hope and energy, and HEALTH.
Sending tons of love and good vibes your way,
Rachel and Eric

Steve Beagle said...

Feeling better, Light and Laughter...I'll take that - LH&P - Steve

Top Ten Things Overheard At The Bush Family Christmas

10. "Condi's gooned on egg nog — mission accomplished"
9. "It was nice of the White House to hire Sarah Palin to work the coat check"
8. "When all is said and done, history will show that this get-together sucked"
7. "Cheney's stopping by — charge the defibrillator"
6. "Please don't spoil this occasion by talking about the economy, climate change, Iraq, Afghanistan, collapse of the Republican Party, or approval ratings"
5. "He's spent three-and-a-half hours trying to pronounce 'Chanukah'"
4. "The Ghost of Christmas Past is here to remind us how great things were under Clinton"
3. "Why is Barack Obama moving his stuff into the Oval Office?"
2. "The red cheeks. The huge belly — Al Gore's here!"
1. "What do you get for the guy who's wrecked everything?"


Every New Year’s in Times Square, they drop the ball. Not this year. Angry investors are dropping Bernie Madoff off a building.

I will not be in Times Square this year. If I want to watch a ball drop, I’ll watch the Detroit Lions.

Christmas is over. Sidewalk Santas are now back to selling crack.

I think my son was disappointed at what he got this year. After opening his gifts, he started throwing shoes at me.


Christmas is over. Isn’t it great? You don’t have to see your family until next Thanksgiving.

I didn’t get what I wanted this year. What I really wanted was the day off after Christmas.

The day after Christmas is called Boxing Day where I come from. It comes from opening the donation boxes after Christmas. Priests would hand out money to the poor. We could do that here in America — the day after Christmas we could give help to the needy: the hobos, the poor, like the car companies . . . the banks . . .

Anonymous said...

Beautifully expressed. Thank you.

mb

Anonymous said...

Elyse, thinking of you and hoping the dawn of the New Year continues to bring more light to you each day. I am already imaginging a trip to Cumberland in my mind so start thinking about it! Sending thoughts and love, Michelle N.

Anonymous said...

Wishing you a belated Happy and Healthy New Year.
Marsha

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year...May this new year bring healing. I miss you every week when I go into work.

By the way, got your message, but have been in NC, Houston, and back to NC.

Be strong...thinking of you always,
Jill K.

Kent said...

Dear Elyse, what an inspiration you are. And "I feel better" has a great ring to it and is a great way to ring in the new year. Wishing you much light in '09.

Love, Kent, Diane, Nicki & Kayla

Forrest said...

Hoping 2009 brings a lot more light! Hope 2009 is also a very, very Happy New Year for you.

Lenore and Scott said...

I don’t know what to write, I don’t’ know what to say.
I can’t imagine what life is like each day.
We are helpless out here in this land of blog,
And you must feel like you’re walking in a fog.
I won’t tell you to go to the light,
It sounds too much like Poltergeist.
I will tell you to keep up the fight,
Even though just eating takes all your might.
But give it your all, give it all you got,
We are here for you and pray a lot.

Love to all!