Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Upcoming Events

On February 21, the Joan Gaeta Lung Cancer Foundation is sponsoring the 2nd annual Dancing for Joan gala event. Like me, Joan Gaeta was a non-smoker. She was diagnosed in early 2004 and succumbed to the cancer in July 2007. The Joan Gaeta Lung Cancer Foundation was created by her husband and children to raise awareness of the disease, to educate the public, and to be an advocate for research. I am sure it will be a wonderful evening for a very worthwhile cause. John and I will be partying along with friends and we hope you will join us. You can find more information at http://jglcf.org/dancing09.aspx.

On May 2nd, the folks who brought you Team Dream (Amy, Amy and Amy), in conjunction with the City of Roswell (Jere and Co.), have organized The "Lung Cancer Needs a Paddling" River Trip. Be part of a fleet of canoes and kayaks paddling down the Chattahoochee River to help raise awareness and find a cure for lung cancer. All proceeds from the event will benefit the National Lung Cancer Partnership though Team Dream. I will publish the link with more information and to register at the beginning of March. Don't even THINK of not participating.


Lenore and Scott said...

I'll start learning to trip the light fantastic (on my feet). And then get my paddling arms warmed up! I'm not sure I ALWAYS believe there is a reason for everything, but if Lung Cancer needed a hero, then yes, there was a reason.

Rachel said...

OK, Now you really sound like the old Elyse!! Better living through chemistry. Party and paddle on.

Anonymous said...

Let the sun shine IN!!!

Ann said...

Yeah! Elyse is back to party planning and getting everyone else involved too! This is the "old" Elyse(not in terms of age, mind you, but you know what I mean......) And we all love it and love her....

Steve Beagle said...

Hey Ali - looks like the judges are scoring you the big winner the last few rounds..

I love paddling but I steer clear when I hear the banjo music.. only joshin'... I will do everything in my power to be there although lately I have been living on Portuguese rolls and cheese in Lisbon..

Heres some topical lunacy to brighten your day..

Keep on paddling.. LH&P Steve for the family..

This week in Washington, President Obama took time out from his busy day to read a book to a group of second graders. It was a fairytale about a Cabinet nominee who once paid all his taxes.

It came out today that the House Democratic Caucus spent $500,000 of taxpayer money for retreats at luxury resorts and spas . . . though Democrats say that the time was used for “strategic planning for the country.” Really? Then what is the Capitol building for?

According to a Pew poll, half of Americans want to live somewhere else. The other 50 percent do not live in New Jersey.

The economy is bad . . . so bad, Paris Hilton had to change her name to Paris Red Roof Inn.

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Reasons I'm Looking Forward To The Grammy Awards By Lil' Wayne

10. By thanking family and friends on air, I can save money on my long-distance calls
9. In the course of the evening, I'm hoping to marry and divorce Amy Winehouse
8. I'm nominated in the category of "Lillest Wayne"
7. Get to hang out with the Jonas Brothers. Have you seen these guys? They're adorable
6. Watching Madonna ask for the senior citizen's discount at the bar
5. The U.S. Airways pilot's gonna land a plane on the stage
4. Green room crabcakes in the shape of Beyonce's booty
3. It'll be more exciting than my usual Sunday nights of watching "Desperate Housewives" in my underpants
2. In these tough times, Americans will appreciate the chance to watch a bunch of rich people kiss each other's asses for three hours
1. Winners who talk too much get tased

Airlines are now slashing their prices to attract business. At US Airways, you can now fly half price from LaGuardia to the Hudson River.

Unemployment is high; the foreclosure rate is high; Michael Phelps is high . . .

Scientists have discovered the fossil of a prehistoric 42-foot-long python. They believe this is the biggest snake in the world — well, if you don’t count Bernie Madoff.

Rod Blagojevich — you gotta love him. He looks like the guy who runs out of bullets and then throws his gun at Superman.

Another Obama nominee had tax issues. Which just proves one thing: that while Democrats like raising taxes, they don’t like paying them.

Sarah Palin is back in the news. She’s been criticizing anonymous bloggers. She calls them pathetic. Apparently, she feels that unknown people should not be criticizing politicians. Unless the unknown person is running for vice president.

Unemployment is the worse it’s been in 25 years. Here’s how bad it is: Right now, people are begging to work with Christian Bale.

President Barack Obama is busy trying to get his stimulus package passed. Today it moved to the Senate for debate, where people like Iowa Sen. Chuck Grassley gave expert analysis of it with posters he made: “Groundhog Day is a recurring event. It is also the title of a famous film starring Bill Murray.”

“The message was, Bill, guided by Phil the groundhog, had to figure out what he was doing wrong. Once he figured it out, he escaped the infinite loop. On this bill before us, we need to learn from Bill.” Wow. That was worth the trip to Kinkos, wasn’t it?

That was the stupidest analogy I ever saw. I’m not even sure he saw the movie, to be honest.

Things are tough right now. Companies are making major cuts. Even Ryan Seacrest is down to eight jobs.

Obama is a genius. Whenever he nominates someone, they pay their taxes. He’s found a way to eliminate the deficit — nominate everyone in the country, one person at a time, and they’ll pay their taxes.

Tom Daschle withdrew his name to be in Obama’s Cabinet, due to IRS problems. He said, “I will not be a distraction.” Distraction is Washington talk for “Uh-oh. There’s a lot more crap you don’t know about yet.”

Daschle says his problems with the IRS were unintentional. Of course, they were unintentional — he never intended to get caught.

To Democrats, IRS means, “I’m really sorry.”

Top Ten Michael Phelps Excuses

10. Anxious to rid myself of those bothersome billion-dollar endorsements
9. Too much chlorine
8. Uh . . . I thought it was chapstick?
7. Asked myself, "What would Chong do?"
6. Uh . . . glaucoma?
5. It's my last chance to goof off before I have to settle down and get a real swimming job
4. Uh . . . I got bitten by a groundhog?
3. Chillax, Broseph
3. Chillax
2. Was doing research for upcoming film "Michael and Kumar Go To the Olympics"
1. Huh?

Yesterday, Barack Obama said people were sick and tired of being rewarded for failure. Is he talking about me?

Rod Blagojevich was a guest last night. So for one night, I wasn’t the creepiest guy on the show.

Obama has now lost two nominees because of tax trouble. Good luck to the new Health and Human Services nominee — Wesley Snipes.

Former Sen. Tom Daschle form South Dakota had to withdraw because he “forgot” to pay taxes on $150,000. I believe the guy because in South Dakota there are so many distractions.

President Obama is working very hard to get the stimulus passed.
He has asked the Senate to cut $50 billion from the plan. He said we no longer would need the $50 billion once everyone in his Cabinet pays his taxes.

Facebook turns 5 years old today. There was trouble when MySpace gave it candy and tried to take it home.

Now that Tom Daschle has withdrawn from his nomination in Obama’s Cabinet, the White House is thinking of replacing him with the CEO of Safeway supermarkets. The White House says they should be able to check him out completely as long as he has eight items or less.

The federal government is launching an investigation into how the Super Bowl was interrupted by porn. It’s going to be led by Bill Clinton.

Eyewitnesses say Lindsay Lohan threw a tantrum at an airport. It seems she was upset because they didn’t have a separate bathroom for fake lesbians.

Obama has set a salary cap for Wall Street fat cats. He’s going to put a cap on salaries of executives whose companies were part of the bailout. The limit the can make in a year is $500,000. Experts say the cap doesn’t just affect the CEOs, it affects their chauffeurs, their cocaine dealers . . . their hookers . . .

It’s freezing everywhere — it’s expected to freeze even in Florida. It’s so cold, people can’t even go to the jobs they don’t have anymore.

Thank God for the Snuggie.

Thanks to TV, there’s really no reason to go outside anymore at all. There’s a new episode of “American Idol” tonight. Sanjaya came out of his hole and saw his shadow, which means 37 more weeks of auditions.

Happy birthday to former Vice President Dick Cheney — 68 years old. You know what that means . . . he beat the spread.

There huge scientific breakthrough today. Researchers say they’re very close to finding someone from Obama’s Cabinet who’s actually paid their taxes.

Tom Daschle, who President Obama wants as his secretary of Health and Human Services, apparently did not pay $128,000 in taxes that he owes to the government. Do you realize Obama hasn’t had a Cabinet member with an embarrassing tax problem like this since . . . the last guy they appointed?

Because of a huge budget crisis, California is now going to delay paying tax refunds. To which Tom Daschle said, “That’s why I didn’t pay them in the first place.”

A tabloid published a picture of Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps at a party taking a huge hit from a bong. I think there’s an important lesson to be learned here: Kids, never share your pot with someone who has the lung capacity of a dolphin.

Super Bowl fans in Tucson had the game interrupted when a porn movie suddenly appeared on screen, showing a woman putting her hands down a man’s pants. Referees immediately called the woman for holding.

The ratings for this year’s Academy Awards are expected to be very low because hardly anyone has seen the Best Picture nominees. Also not helping — the prospect of seeing Mickey Rourke in high-definition.

One of the senators resisting President Obama’s stimulus package the most is John McCain. Apparently, McCain’s biggest problem with the package is it’s not written in a larger font.

Bridgette said...

Wow! I just found an old friend on facebook that has lung cancer and is on a waiting list for a lung!! I'm going to ask her more questions but we want to talk on the phone. If anything I'll be educated :) I love hearing how your living and playing. I love you and super glad your feeling better. Any news on calming down the rash? Eric still hasn't gotten on with Genentech but hopefully this week :) He'll try to get a scoop on the rash too. BIG HUG!! We need to bring Brent out here. Talk soon. Love you Bridgette

Betsy said...

Yeah great upper body training event. we be there!