Friday, September 5, 2008

It's a Date (Reprise)

Remember way back when in June that I was supposed to have surgery? Hence the lunggone moniker? Well, we've come full circle, in a way. On September 24th I will again go under general anesthesia and John Moore will again biopsy lymph nodes in my chest, this time by frozen section, and if there is no cancer present in the nodes then he will remove my left lung. A pneumonectomy. This next step brings with it a new level of hope, that surgery could, in fact, be a cure. There is no guarantee, of course, and there are serious risks involved with this surgery. There is also the possibility, a not insignificant one, that the cancer outside of the primary tumor has not been eradicated by the treatment that I have had so far, and I will wake up to two lungs and more chemotherapy and radiation, and the same dismal statistics I have been living(?) under for the past 3+ months. Friends, that is a frightening prospect. I have been read The Riot Act about statistics but it's my life not yours so leave that topic alone for now. It is what it is.

But I have hope. I love hope. I can feel it. I feel positive and ready and I want to be cured. I want my life back. I missed the summer, I will miss the fall, but I don't think it is unrealistic to be up and about for winter. I probably won't ski, but what the heck, maybe I can handle Sugar Mountain.

So reload those prayer guns. You have all been so wonderful keeping me going on this still inconceivable journey.

Love and thanks,



Anonymous said...

Finally, a surgery date! Who knew we could be so excited? With the holidays approaching, it would be nice to end 5768 minus one lung and start 5769 with a clean slate! I met a woman yesterday who works in program development at MDA. She knows Herbst and says he is a superstar, which we already knew. Saw the program last night and was so touched by all the success stories. You will be one of them too! By the way, this weeks "My Turn" in Newsweek was an all-time low. I don't want to read about insecure moms and their playdate issues. You better get writing! Liz

Anonymous said...

Liz has just shown me how to be a blog maven since I've tried to do it before and really screwed up! Now that I know to click anonymous I can communicate with you. We want you to know that our thoughts and prayers are with you and hope all your prayers are answered as well. I'm going to make you the biggest noodle pudding when all this is over! Much love, Mickey and Noel

Susan said...

OK, so we have a date. I say “we” knowing fully that you have to endure all the discomfort. But make no mistake; WE ARE ALL in this with YOU. We are all working, wishing, & praying for your complete cure! The program last night was very encouraging. So, one foot in front of the other, my friend and keep the writing coming. You are healing us all with your incomparable perspectives. Here’s to your good health!
Love, Susan

Bruce said...

Prayers here most days for you girl. Your postive attitude is the key.

Anonymous said...

As you said "it is what it is"! What it means to me is full recovery and back to your old self-loving life, your family and your friends. We're with you-no platitudes, just facts. You can do this and we will do it with you!
Here's to a great winter!

sandplay said...

Now there is a date where, we all hope , you can get on with the buissness of healing and living large. Keep beliveing and healing. Thank you for becoming such a great teacher for so many of us.It was great seeing you. Looking forward to great winter We are be sending you our love daily (and nightly).D&D

Steve Beagle said...

Well I have been requested on this blog to be the resident comedian.

I will continue my normal day job here perhaps even later today but for now I must tell you some emotions I had Friday night.

I sat and watched the boobtube celebrities and the unknowns talk about the grim ever escalating statistics surrounding cancer. I listened intently to the amazing survival stories, the stories of hope with unknown endings and the stories of such tragic endings. It flooded my mind of you and the eight years I spent with my mother watching her fight so hard yet succumb to the brutal nature of her illness. Why be dour now ? Well for one, I never like to sugar coat anything. I love to laugh as you know and live for a good belly ache from laughter however life isn't always a box o" chocolates.

After watching I retired quietly to my home office off the bedroom, slid the door blocking off the rest of the house and my family and sat in my desk chair. I then cried uncontrollably for the next 15 minutes or so unable to stop. My shoulder blades shuddering.

Why was I crying -- mainly because of you. I think to myself - what a beautiful person, what a beautiful life - raising a polite, articulate, intelligent young man, ranked tops in her highly difficult prestigious career with a beautiful warm caring Renaissance man of a husband who is fascinating to be around. So why with this idyllic life has whatever the powers that be chosen you for this path of hellish proportions? I cried more and wondered. Then I read some of your entries and then more of your entries and a light hit me. .. You have been chosen because 99.999 percent of the population would have already given up. Your will and ability to sustain this topsy turvy world is a message to all of us to stop and look at you. Embrace you, feel your pain, feel your agony on any level we can and figure a way to assist you,and make any part of this pure hell tolerable. So we go on and want you to know we are here in any way to carry your ungodly admirable strength forward... Love with Prayers, Hugs and Admiration Steve

BEtsy said...

So glad you have a date, a decision and can move on. You will do well and it will be over before you know it. Thinking of you. Betsy

Anonymous said...

Much love, hugs and prayers and a complete recovery. Michelle S.

Anonymous said...

Just returned from Yosemite and California and all the glories of the West. We saw a bear and Vinson spotted 14 deer. We swam in rivers, stood under redwoods, and climbed boulders, if not mountains. I carried you with me much of the way. I marvelled at the rock climbers and thought of you scaling your own difficult heights. Learned that the famous climber Royal Robbins, climbed Half Dome for the first time with the adage - I can't climb this whole mountain, but I can climb the next five feet and then he proceeded to climb the entire mountain, five feet a time. Sending love for the next five feet and then the five feet after that as you scale this mountain with indomitable strength and perseverence. Talk soon, Michelle N.

Linda said...

Dear Elyse,

Prayers guns here in Houston are locked and loaded. I hope that you know that you are surrounded in a cocoon of love. My husband and I were in Austin this weekend and got to see Ben, who is one of our son Oren's best buddies. I love Ben as if he were one of my one. He is such a sweetie. All the Aussenberg's are.

Right now it is all about you. So be sure to open up your arms, and everything else, and take take take everything that people want to give you. Can't be there personally to give you a hug, but please consider yourself squeezed with love, positive thoughts and lots of prayers from Houston and Austin.

Linda from Houston

Anonymous said...

I am glad to hear that you are still trucking along and in relatively good cheer. My offer to fill you in on stupid but really funny movies is still open and, now I am adding in the offer to come by and watch one with you. I realize that this is not the same as playing in the great outdoors but a really funny, stupid comedy is bound to make you smile if not laugh a lot. Take me up on it. Come on, I dare you. :) Richard Morgan.