What a roller coaster ride this has been.
I woke up today full of fear, hardly able to function. Today's visit from special friends meant so much to me, even if I struggled to be present with them.
This afternoon I met with the radiation oncologist and she was nothing but positive. She addressed all of my questions and concerns about treatment, about side effects, about my diagnosis, everything I could think of to ask. It looks like I will be getting a dose of radiation every week day for 7 (7!) weeks. She assured me, and reassured me again, that this is the protocol. This may cause fatigue, a rash, problems swallowing, a partially useless lung (I may still lose it anyway), but this, alone, will not cause hair loss, or any other dreaded side effects, real or imaginary. I will also be receiving chemotherapy treatment simultaneously. I am meeting with the oncologist on Monday, so I will have more information then. I was very upset after my other meeting with him, so I am apprehensive about that appointment. Nevertheless, having a concrete treatment plan, along with Dr. Wiggers' support have made a tremendous difference in my frame of mind.
After today's appointment, I was even feeling up to a visit to the offices of Aussenberg Waggoner LLP. (You may have heard of this ultra famous group of family law attorneys and staff. If you haven't, you should.) It was great to be there, to watch others enjoy Happy Hour even if I didn't partake, and take pleasure in the company of my colleagues. Depending upon the chemotherapy regimen, I am planning a return to the work force, albeit in a limited capacity.
I have also made plans to communicate with MD Anderson Medical Center in Houston. In the short term, I will get a second opinion (on records, only), but I will also establish a connection for future treatment or inquiries, if necessary.
So, I feel like I'm back in the saddle, or the oar boat, ready to paddle down this stream. Not sure how to explain that I'm excited about the prospect of weeks of dousing my body in various poisons, but it just feels right, at least for now.
My spirit is rejuvenated, even if my body still needs a lot of help.
Love to all.